Francois Ariel Kashy

When Twin Flames run, it’s out of fear. When Twin Flames chase, it’s out of fear. Chasing is a way of running from you, your own fulfillment, your own needs, your own love, thinking they’re outside of you, somewhere else, away from you. Something to be achieved, to be caught, to be earned.

Chasing is abandoning your own love, and your own connection, the connection that is already real and fulfilled in you.

Running is a way of hiding, of guarding a wound. Sometimes running is a way of guarding against pain, when you think that pain is caused outside – when it’s really just pain within you, that needs to come out, that needs to be honored, to be accepted, to be free and loved.

Chasing Twin Flame relationship abandons the true connection inside of you.

Twin Flame connection isn’t about the old style of relationship. Traditional relationships are full of expectations, requirements, compromise and bargains, emotional trading, hiding, and turning away from your own inner pain. Even in love, traditional relationships say – if you do this for me, I’ll do this for you, we’ll make a requirement, we’ll make expectations, and we’ll be together. Even the best relationships have conditions.

If you chase relationship, you put the energy of chasing into relationship. You create a relationship of chasing – the more you chase, the further it gets.

Chasing is a way of running from yourself, a way of abandoning you, here and now.

Wherever you are in relationship, alone or not, whether talking or not, wanting more or whatever it is – sit with yourself right there. Be with yourself, there, in whatever you feel, just choose to be in you, in it.

Sometimes in the Twin Flame world, there are comments that “a true Twin Flame would not do that”, or, “that means they aren’t your Twin Flame.”

To me, the Twin Flame process is just that – it’s a journey. It’s not a label. It doesn’t tell you who you are. It is a process, an experience, a path of healing and spiritual growth.

The human experience asks to be honored, the pain and growth that we go through asks to be acknowledged. In everyone. We all experience pain, and we all deserve to be received in love and compassion.

I found that in my own abandonment and anger, when I’ve been abandoned … The pain wasn’t because of others abandoning or rejecting me, or betraying me. It was because I was telling myself I was not worth love,… What ever the other person did.

I would start out there, and try to get love from someone else. Because I wasn’t even listening to that part of me, that voice in me, saying, I’m not worth it.

I wasn’t even acknowledging, listening to my own pain, to myself. When I created that energy, I took it into connections.

And then, the would be a day without a text or a call, or I’d hear about some adventure.

And I’d already have been telling myself I was left out. That I didn’t deserve love. No matter what they did, I was already in that energy. I was already threatened inside.

It wasn’t them. It was me… Telling myself. Then making it about them, pretending it was about them.

And it started when I was not listening to me from the beginning. And not truthful with myself. That was the abandonment.

And not sharing my feelings with others. Whether it was “I feel hurt”.. Or… “I’m in love with you”
Either way..I was hiding it.

I learned to share, not by saying “you hurt me,” but “I feel hurt.” I learned to communicate how I feel… In a way that honors me, and holds space for the other.

I start by saying… What if this were my dearest closest friend?

Yes – I might feel angry or hurt – but I would start much more gently with vulnerability and… In reconciliation.

What I really needed was to be heard, acknowledged, valued, in my feelings. First by me…and then opening up to another.

I needed that, much more than just telling the other person… You’re not showing up for me.

I met someone, who reminded me of love.

I met someone, who reminded me of me.

I met love, and became love, and remembered love.

I saw myself as love sees me, beloved, beautiful, overflowing.

I saw love, as love sees me, whole, fulfilled, true.

I loved, and I am love, and I am become love

Go within first.

When you seek love outside, in answers from others, you have absence inside: trusting others, over yourself.

Your own soul is saying – see the truth of love. It isn’t in their words. You are asked to call love in you… not through another.

You can be loved for you who you are.

You don’t have to be in pain to create closeness. You don’t have to suffer to bring the connection you desire. You don’t have to pretend to be happy to bring in support.

You deserve support, partnership, companionship, friendship and love. You deserve love, you are loved in all ways, in joy, in hope, in desire, you are loved too in pain, and fear, and grief. You do not need to hide.

You are accepted, just as you are.

You are supported, just as you are.

You are loved, just as you are.

Healing a relationship means making peace with yourself, accepting what is. It means being true to yourself and moving from your own center.

It doesn’t mean changing how someone else feels, convincing them of anything, trying make them different. It doesn’t mean creating expectations or demands, or making someone else responsible for your inner experience.

It means being truthful, vulnerable, communicating, without blame, without judgement, of you or anyone else. It means being open. It means taking responsibility for your own feelings, and actions, and being accountable.

Trust starts with truth.

Healing a relationship doesn’t mean making someone into who you need them to be. It doesn’t have to mean romance. It may mean changing romance into something else. It means being true to yourself, and holding space for love – whatever form it takes.